What will I say?
What will (s)he say?
What if I don’t get any answers?
What if I feel exposed?
What if I break down?
What if, what if, what if?
It's no secret that we all have difficulty asking for help, let alone going to therapy.
It’s common to feel anxious and worried before taking that first step of going to talk to someone who isn’t a friend or family member. Whether the root of your fear is feeling weak, like your challenges aren’t worth going to therapy for, or just not knowing where to start, many of us find ourselves feeling stuck. The what ifs swirling round our minds can be exhausting, and often, cozying up to our favorite TV show can be so much more tempting than unraveling all of our fears to a near-stranger.
Of course facing our past and present is never easy. Yet, your first session, whenever that may be, can be thought of like this: deciding to pick up a book, skimming through the index and maybe even the early chapters, and coming to realize that you are both the author and the main character. We will never sort through everything in one go. After all, stories that took precious years to build will never be dismantled overnight. The first step, the decision to remember and to share, is a powerful one in affirming that your story is in fact, yours.
The first session is more about you and the therapist getting to know each other–often starting with addressing why you chose today to begin facing the challenges in your life. With that said, the session is yours to decide how much, or how little you would like to share.
It’s ok to just sit there, silently. It’s ok to unload absolutely everything that comes to mind. One of the beautiful things about therapy is that what you tell your therapist is all they really know about you; not only because the therapist exists outside of your personal life, but because you choose how to paint your picture.
At the end of the day, there is no pressure for you to decide how you feel about therapy by the first session. People will usually have a good sense if therapy is right for them by their third appointment. Remember, it is very human to feel anxious about therapy, and about the first session in particular. And that's ok, you are brave to take the first step.
