Imagine seeing the thoughts in your head presented as people walking around you on a busy street. Each person (thought) passes by, staying for a couple of minutes and continues to fade away, distancing themselves as life continues to happen. You might stay vigilant with those people in the moment of the close encounter, but eventually you’ll forget that they even crossed your path.
The same goes for the thoughts and emotions in our minds that we experience with each situation. We might give heavy reactions in the moment of the incident, with tons of intense ideas flowing around. Yet, a couple of seconds, minutes, or even hours later, we’re not going to have this thought anymore. We won’t feel these reactions with the same intensity anymore. We move on. It is a process though… to be able to grasp the concept that you and your thoughts are two completely different things. People have the privilege to live every day and experience a lot of what life has to offer, unlike people’s thoughts that come and go and are considered temporary. That’s why trying to imagine thoughts and emotions as motions flowing right in front of your eyes could help make you feel that they do not define you. That they are present at a distance, impacts us in the moment, then finally fades away for other ones to come.
Sometimes we might catch ourselves involved in negative self-talk. This happens when we have these inner-dialogues that usually diminish any positive attributes we might have, eventually lowering our confidence and limiting our own abilities in ourselves. Let’s take a moment of anger. When situations that trigger this emotion happens over and over again, we are bound to have this inner conversation that can look something like this:
These are examples of certain narratives in our lives that we associate with on a daily basis. We tend to overidentify with the thought or feeling that causes us to feel that way and may even label ourselves as such. Remember that thinking that you are an angry person is different from feeling anger in certain moments. Feelings pass, they are temporary, but the act of identifying yourself as being an “angry person” sticks. And although this overidentification happens effortlessly, always try to remember that you are not your thoughts. That moments after the happening, you will end up with completely different ones. That the narratives we associate with come and go and we have the tool to distance ourselves from them.
We understand how it might be difficult to understand the concept behind “you are not your thoughts”, that you and your thoughts are two different things. Yet, practicing mindfulness, identifying triggers, and participating in positive affirmations are new ways to try and cope with negative, heavy thoughts that affect our daily life situations.
