New Year, Everyday Me: Burning My Long Resolutions List

Imagine this, it's the first morning of the new year and you wake up to the calm and quiet after the chaos of celebrations. What's the first thing that comes to your mind? How do you feel about the new beginning? Is it just the date changing when you're swiping past your lock screen, or has something deeply changed in you that you want to make room for in the new year?

For many, the new year is a surge of positivity and optimism, a fresh start filled with endless possibilities. But sometimes it feels naive and forced, with all the promises and resolutions we make to ourselves. If you walk into the new year with a long list of resolutions, you’re probably familiar with the disappointment of failed resolutions and unaccomplished goals and the hype you get from checking things off the list. But what if you're carrying the weight of a heavy past year into the new one? What if you're overloading yourself with resolutions and goals when you still have ongoing issues needing energy and care?  

Reverberations of a heavy past year

How about this time, you try a different approach? Instead of jumping headfirst into a sea of positive affirmations and shiny new goals, take a moment to acknowledge the reverberations of a heavy past year. Acknowledge the losses, the difficult experiences that you may have been through, and any ongoing challenges that still require your attention. Recognize that it's okay to feel the weight of these experiences and emotions and allow yourself to process them before rushing into a new year filled with expectation and pressure.  

Here's what these reverberations may look like.

Acknowledge them and work toward a proper resolution before jumping to new goals.

• Lingering grief and loss from personal or collective tragedies
• Emotional exhaustion and burnout from the demands of a challenging year
• Increased anxiety and stress due to uncertainty and change
• Strained relationships and the need for healing and reconciliation
• Self-doubt and a lack of confidence stemming from past setbacks
• Lack of hope and resistance to positivity due to repeated disappointment

Resolutions or Delusions?  

As the new year begins, you may find yourself caught in the trap of making resolutions without fully addressing the underlying issues that hold you back from achieving them or noticing patterns that have led to repeated disappointment in the past. Remember that a self-made promise is not a plan. And both positions are tricky; either planning too far ahead or not stopping to reflect and notice change around you.  

While setting resolutions can be a powerful way to envision the future and create motivation, it's important to differentiate between genuine resolutions and delusions. One major distinction between a proper resolution and one that's gone wrong is the level of introspection and self-awareness involved. Resolutions that are grounded in self-awareness require honest reflection on your strengths, limitations, and areas for growth.

Another important aspect to consider is the feasibility of your resolutions. Ambitious goals are great, but they need to be realistic and achievable within the context of your current circumstances. For instance, if you are dealing with financial difficulties, setting a resolution to save a large sum of money within a short period may be unrealistic. Instead, a more realistic resolution could be to create a budget and save a certain percentage of your income each month. Remember, small changes can lead to long-lasting results.

For example, here's an example of setting realistic goals on exercise.

• Delusion: "Get in shape" (Too vague and lacks a clear plan)
• Resolution: "Commit to a 30-minute workout three times a week to regulate my blood circulation and improve my stamina" (Specific and achievable)

In this example, you have already acknowledged that you need to achieve certain health goals and put into consideration the amount of time you can allocate and the frequency of workouts that align with your lifestyle and health needs.  

As you set your resolutions, remember that nothing changes unless:  

• You consciously set realistic and achievable goals, aligning with your values and personal growth.
• You engage in self-reflection, understanding your thoughts and emotions as they relate to your desired changes.
• You recognize and challenge limiting beliefs, fostering a mindset conducive to positive change.
• You build resilience by embracing setbacks as opportunities for learning and growth, rather than viewing them as failures and beating yourself up for them.  
• You prioritize self-compassion and self-care, understanding the importance of mental well-being in the change process.
• You actively seek social support, recognizing the impact of relationships on your psychological well-being and motivation.

This year, prioritize your mental health  

When you're setting your goals, you may find yourself focusing on physical health, career growth, or other external achievements, neglecting the core of your wellness, which stems from within. You can guarantee lasting change and consistency if your goals are in alignment with your sense of purpose. Taking care of your mental health should be a priority, as it lays the foundation for all other aspects of your life.  

If you're struggling with identifying your goals or assessing where you currently stand, consider seeking guidance from a mental health professional or life coach who can help you navigate through the process. Group therapy may be beneficial as well, as it provides a supportive and understanding environment where you can connect with others who are also striving for personal growth.  

Consider checking our upcoming group therapy program on Bringing the Unconscious to Awareness to further explore your inner world and gain insights into your subconscious patterns and behaviors that may be hindering your progress.