“The Notebook”, “Titanic”, and “The Fault in Our Stars” are just a few of the blockbuster romantic movies that the film industry has produced over the past few decades, each generating hundreds of millions of dollars in profits. That shouldn’t come as a surprise because, after all, being in a deeply romantic relationship is surely something that many of us yearn for. But, sometimes, we forget that having a healthy romantic relationship is something different, and what we really should strive for.
Knowing whether you’re in a healthy relationship is important because it can give you insight into what might still need some work or compromise from you and your partner. It can also shed some light on your strengths and weaknesses helping you and your partner make the best decisions/be mindful of what is best for you. There are many signs of healthy relationships, many of which are interconnected and, sometimes, interdependent. This article will discuss five of those signs:
1. You Trust Each Other
Trust is an essential component in healthy relationships. It has the ability to make your relationship run smoothly and allows you to be your true self with your partner. One of the biggest signs of trust is the ability to show vulnerability. When your partner tells you about a troubling childhood memory, a personality flaw, or about how much they depend on you for support, they trust that you accept them the way they are. They also trust that you provide them with a non-judgmental space where they can be honest with you. Of course, they also trust that you will keep any vulnerabilities and insecurities private.
Another sign of trust is when you and your partner are OK when you’re apart; you don’t get an overwhelming sense of worry that your partner may be cheating, hanging out with that toxic friend, or doing things that could harm them or you. Moreover, being able to depend on your partner to be with you in urgent situations or at tough times is another form of trust. For example, when they urgently need a ride, when they want you to be by their side in a major surgery, or when they’re grieving over the loss of a loved one. To put it simply, they trust that you can support them at times when they need it the most. Speaking of support…
2. You Support Each Other
We all need to feel supported. Support can take many forms. It can take the form of a warm hug, attending an event your partner enjoys to cheer up after having a tough week at work, or buying a thoughtful gift. Support can also be manifested in certain actions like when your partner reminds you of a major challenge that you overcame, despite doubting your abilities at the time, to remind you of how strong and resilient you really are.
Giving advice is also another form of support. A person who truly knows you will also work to understand how to best support you, learning what little and big things resonate the loudest with you. They will know what you need, and if they don’t, they will ask. Adding to that, a supportive partner will offer a helping hand whenever possible. This can be shown if they, for example, offer to take the kids from school to allow you to go out with your friends or help you with finding an important document. No matter the way your partner supports you, just feeling that sense of care can strengthen the bond between you.
3. You Respect Each Other
Mutual respect builds and strengthens your relationship as it signifies love, respect, and care. It teaches you to accept the good and the bad in your partner while helping them become the best version of themselves. While doing this, respect translates into supportive actions that solidify the bond between you and your partner even more.
But what does that look like?
It can take the form of listening to your partner, recognizing their boundaries, and treating them with dignity in the presence of others. It can also mean giving them space and freedom when they need it and valuing their time and efforts.
4. You Communicate Thoughtfully and Honestly With Each Other
A building block of any strong relationship is thoughtful communication. Many of us would agree on the sheer number of conflicts that were created in part or completely because of miscommunication. The hallmark of effective communication is understanding your partner better. As you understand your partner’s thoughts, feelings, and needs, you grow more capable of providing them with what they really need. It also builds respect and trust.
This feeling that your partner knows you and is able to communicate directly with you provides a sense of security and ease which, undoubtedly, improves your relationship’s health. Effective communication includes actions like when both of you express your thoughts and emotions honestly and freely, being keen to listen to what each of you wants to say, being empathetic and understanding, and being able to understand each other’s body language. On the flip side: silent treatments, dishonesty, expecting your partner to read your mind, or taking up all the space in a conversation can be symptoms of unhealthy relationships.
5. You Are Equal Partners
Being equal partners means that you and your partner both have an equal say in the relationship. You make decisions together. Such decisions can range from choosing what to do on the weekend or what interior design to choose for your home, to how many children to have or which school to choose for your children. It also means that both of you contribute your fair share to the relationship; making sure that you bear the responsibilities of the relationship as a team and that it is not a one-person effort.
Lastly, both partners should view each other as equals - one partner doesn’t see himself/herself as better or more powerful in the relationship, and that roles only exist so far as we place them or desire them to exist. Your relationship is unique, because individuals are all different in how they love, and want to be loved. There should be space in an equitable relationship for you to be exactly as you are, and for your partner to experience the same.
A Final Word
Now, you may already know many of the signs mentioned in this article. We hear you saying “Duh!” and yes, we know many of these signs can seem relatively obvious. However, sometimes we forget the simplest and most basic signs of healthy relationships. So, we hope, after reading this article, you take something away; maybe you learn something new, recall something you haven’t thought of in a while, or simply are inspired to have a candid conversation with your partner about building a beautiful, healthy relationship.
